OPPOSITES
The minute I hear concrete I think abstract.
When I try to fill the page I see an empty one instead.
Color reminds me of black and white,
stillness cries movement
and order lends itself to chaos.
The seen lies hidden in the unseen.
What is unseen may finally be seen.
Life is a riddle
that only the wise and newborn
know the answer to.
For me…….
There is no answer.
Everytime I decide on an answer
a new question is asked that begs a new answer.
And so….on and on, deeper and deeper,
the story of life and beyond goes.
“That was a good book”
my late husband announced to me days before he died.
I was too frightened and chaotic inside to ask him
the meaning of his words.
But then of course I knew, that is why I didn’t ask.
What I really want to say is STOP!
Let’s bring some order to this piece.
Writing is about concrete images,
but I don’t like the word or the idea of concrete.
Reminds me of the sidewalks I traveled in the city
instead of the soft rich soil that surrounds my life now.
I came out of concrete and rules, should and more shoulds.
Everything in a straight line,
like the New York City streets.
For awhile I liked it that way.
The linear moved me in directions I believed I should go.
Easy to identify myself in all that order.
Images of cyclical adventures were too frightening,
too free.
THAT WAS BEFORE I LOST MY MIND……….
I think it was in the woods one day
or was in the mountains that summer a few years back?
No……I remember.
It was at that workshop, the one with the strange name:
Inner Landscapes, Outer Dreams.
It mixed me all up.
But then I knew I could use some mixing up.
Like the letters in the cage at a Bingo game turning over and over.
I understood that in order to bring a new order of being
I would need to establish
Chaos.
I am having the most wonderful time listening to http://theshiftnetwork.com They are offering, among many things, a free online seminar called the Winter of Wellness. Interesting and informed teachers speak for 45 minutes and then you can break into phone groups to talk. Today I was on the line with women from Vancouver, New Zealand and Vermont! It was a profound conversation about our spirituality and our inner growth.
I heard today’s teacher, Janet Quinn say that “there is only one purpose: to inherit and fall in love with the internal spiritual director, found in the center of every human heart.”
I am writing my second book and am wondering how to present it in the world. Can I call myself a spiritual director? Can I see my writing as a service to others? I believe my writing is a most important way for me to stay connected to Source, and that much of what I write comes from that deep place inside the heart. I want to share my own experiences with the hope that it will open the reader’s heart to their own inheritance.
Today I saw whales breaching
flinging their huge bodies out of the water,
and dolphins spinning through the air.
I saw dazzling green cliffs
eroding into the fingers of the Mother.
There are valleys where a being
could lose a lifetime.
I know that here I can rest my head
in the open hand of the Mother,
I am wrapped in Her presence
as she breathes in, then exhales.
Time- past and future disappear.
There is only glorious sunshine
reflecting off coconut palms and banana leaves,
birds calling, and tender, gentle air.
I hear the words: When you live in the Light of pure Love there is no Shadow, and I am bestowed with the understanding that as we ascend to or fall into more light, the obscuraties of our life fade away. The ego, once despairing and confused about all the difficulties going on in the world, is infused with this light of pure love and takes the hands of enlightened beings to begin new life, free from the disowned parts of the self in this lifetime and beyond. This shift has begun. It is a collective experience opening and available to all beings. The time is now.
But the path of ascension is not linear. There is no hierarchy. It comes from the willingness to awaken, to choose consciousness, stepping out of the material world for enough time each day to learn to trust our intuition and trusting that our heart is the engine that guides us, rather than our mind. I believe that as human beings this is what we are called to do while we are in physical form, and when we pass on to the dimension where form does not exist, we will continue the journey into elevated consciousness and vibration.
(excerpt from my new book in process)
As we journey into more light remember to go to our center where our own light shines. May 2102 be the year of awakening. Blessings, Lisa
As we journey more deeply into longer nights, experiencing the absence of light as winter descends; we can find paradoxical contrast that at this darkest time we are preparing ourselves for the oncoming light. At the solstice we begin to turn away from the long night and enter into more light filled days. I, for one, begin to feel a lifting of spirit. I begin to shake off a mild depression that has been settling itself in and around me, like the darkness outside.
It is not that I dislike this feeling. In fact I welcome it, like a familiar friend that visits at the same time each year. I am challenged to look more deeply into myself as the darkness becomes a blanket that wraps itself around me and keeps me inside. It is as if I have traveled, once again, into a new womb. In this time of transition I catch new glimpses of self illuminated by the promise of the oncoming light.
In the Christian Church this time is marked by Advent as a moment of hope and rebirth, with the coming light of the world represented by the Christ child. I feel a sense of wonder when I think of the beautiful Nativity scene: Lit by the peaceful glow of sacred light, the animals stand quietly beside the manger, and the look of awe on the faces of the shepherds, who have traveled through the dark night to the stable, guided by the bright star. Joseph stands there protectively watching the sweet love of mother and child.
When I was visiting the sacred island of Iona in Scotland a few years ago, I spent some time pondering the meaning of the Nativity. As I sat in a small pasture by the Abbey surrounded by ewes and their tiny lambs, I thought about how perfect it was that in the story the baby Jesus was born in a stable and that the animals were there with him. I think animals belong beside the manger as a reminder that they are a part of the soul of the world. I thought about how the stable served as a peaceful sanctuary for this infant born with an enlightened consciousness while the politics of the time raged outside. I imagined the stable as a cave or womb of protection. A shaman might see it as another dimension, a place on the other side of the veil. Surely the Nativity scene represents the love and positive energy of the Divine and within its image the hope of an evolution of consciousness for all life on earth.
I believe that we can also feel the protection of this womblike stable. It is Christ’s gift to us as we journey from the darkest nights into the renewal of light. The bright and holy light in the manger guides us and calls us to come home to ourselves, and we do, because even in the dark we know there is the hope of new life.
Earth’s Rest, by Lisa Barstow
In winter shadows come early
and the sun’s light disappears before creatures have laid down to rest.
Nocturnal animals have more time to hunt
and bear, in her cave, curls up to dream of spring.
Our Mother’s earth body breathes deeply,
giving way to stillness.
She has been dancing through
spring, summer and early fall.
Now past harvest she yearns for rest.
Curling up in her own cave, a womb,
she closes her eyes.
She sleeps in comfort as the darkness enfolds her,
content to be with the light of stars and
Grand Mother Moon.
I believe we are in a shift of time when we must listen to and be guided by our personal as well as collective intuitive body . We were made vividly aware by the terrorist attacks on 9/11, and since then the suffering of many in myriad ways, that our world is out of balance. Is our humanity being held inside a darkness and we must wake up to begin to move through to the center of Mother’s heart, the place where love never dies?
Once we have individually and collectively touched this place within we can begin to move into a transformed world. We must not become paralyzed. We must learn to navigate without outer sight. It is time to see with our soul. This is a time when the shaman in each of us is longing for balance and yearns to be whole.
Mother Earth and her animal, plant and mineral children are waiting for the two leggeds to wake up to the knowing that our light within and connection to Source is who we are. If not, we are in danger of being stuck in the darkness, falling asleep there and dreaming the world into more despair, the despair of not moving into the Light. What if we dream a dream that does not include hope, forgiveness, compassion and love? What if the dream is one of fear and revenge, violence and hate?
Ten years ago I began writing about my childhood and two years ago I self
published a memoir that spanned my lifetime thus far. Sixty-four years of joys, sorrows, abandonment, betrayal, love, loyalty, faith, resentment, pettiness, courage….all the words that make up a life. As I kept writing I began to understand that I wasn’t just writing my story, I was writing about the human story. The details of the experiences belonged to me, but the emotions and challenges they create are universal. Nothing else truly bonds the human race as much as our common story. We have lived it through the ages.
Now it is time for the collective new story, one without guilt, shame or regret, to enter our consciousness and claim its rightful place in this world. We are being asked by a more evolved consciousness, our Source, to find the truth in our hearts where it lives hidden by layers of ego projected fear. Ego has no defense against the power of true belief in the Love of All. The new story isn’t about pride, being right, selfishness, or control. If we can each find a way to allow our hearts to guide us we will feel our humble, loving selves and that energy will reach out to others to connect us in the place we call Spirit.
I do not claim to know how anyone else should do this, I can only look to my own life and the experiences I choose to move through during my time on earth. I lived many years “asleep,” but kept struggling to keep my head above water despite the outer layers of ego that can tend to keep one in denial and hide a deeper truth. I realized that for me there was nothing more important than “waking up” and becoming more conscious. But in order to do that I had to remain vigilant and keep peeling away the veneer. What I saw at times wasn’t pretty and yet I have come to believe that underneath the overlay of ego there is, in all of us, a tremendous light of self love that shines out beyond our humanness and assures us we are One. In the unity of the Light we can move, as individuals, to create a new story for humanity.
“If you desire the self, get out of the self.
Leave the shallow stream behind
and flow into the river deep and wide.
Don’t be an ox pulling the wheel of the plow,
turn with the stars that wheel above you.”
Rumi